Dignity Until The End
One of our neighbors, Steve, has been in hospice care due to bone cancer. He passed away yesterday around 11:30am next to his wife and friends. We knew he was close to the end, so the staff set up a schedule to have someone at his side 24/7. No one should die alone.
Steve and his wife, Emily, actually got married at the Village a couple years ago on Easter morning. Though I wasn’t there, I can imagine the joy that filled the community that day. On top of celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, the Village celebrated another resurrection of sorts. A renewed hope, a resurrection of dreams, a fresh start.
Just a few days ago, the neighborhood gathered outside Steve’s home. Emily and his son were next to him and fifty people stood outside to sing some songs and offer prayers or words of encouragement. All were there to say, “We are here for you, Steve. We love you and will support you until the end.”
If we ever give you a tour of Community First! Village, you’ll be able to meet some of our friends here, and we’ll also show you the onsite columbarium. More than a dozen members of this community wished to have their remains buried here. For some folks, this place is the only stable home they have known, and they want to stay here forever.
Though I am sad Steve’s earthly journey came to an end yesterday, I am glad he spent his last days surrounded by the love and support of Community First Village.
It turns out that when our homeless brothers and sisters die on the streets, they are quickly forgotten. Hardly anyone notices, and if there are no known family members, there won’t be a memorial service. There won’t be a celebration of life or a place to send flowers. Sadly, they might die alone and end up having their remains placed in a black plastic bag. I hate thinking about how this precious person may have been treated like trash more often than not throughout their lifetime.
Not in this community.
A few weeks ago, we lost another neighbor, but it happened more suddenly. I didn’t really know Vanessa, but she was well-loved by friends and family. She had been at the Village for several years, forging friendships and creating traditions. She was often seen speeding down the street on her motorized wheelchair giving rides to her grandbabies. In fact, on one of our visits to Community First last year, we remember seeing this!
On Wednesday morning September 9th, when Vanessa passed away, a group of staff, residents, and missionals gathered under the big pavilion. It was a time of prayer for her family and for the neighborhood as everyone began dealing with the grief and tragic news. I got a text from Nancy, one of the missional leaders - “Come to the Community Table now. Vanessa has passed. When someone passes, we circle the stretcher and pray. It may be a little while until they come, but we are gathering together and remembering her now.”
It was beautiful to witness the way the community came together that day. I heard stories of her transformation, of her spunky spirit, of her love for her children and grandchildren. What was once a life marked by pain and homelessness, had become a life of stability, relationships, and dignity. She loved and advocated well, and as one neighbor remarked, “She was a good friend who came over and checked on me way more than I checked on her.”
After stories were shared at the Community Table, a group began gathering in the street outside Vanessa’s home. People came and went over the course of the day as we waited for the medical examiner to arrive. For hours, there were dozens of people gathered in and around her home in support of her family and as a way to honor her life.
It was beautiful. We prayed and sang. Some paused social-distancing to give hugs and comfort one another. It was a moment of solidarity that is rarely seen. One of her friends wanted to do a balloon-releasing in her memory a couple days later. It was a special moment to witness.
Vanessa and Steve will be remembered for years to come. Our collective memories of them will be cherished, and their legacies will be honored. Love until the end. Dignity until the end. That’s the spirit of this community.
